Orphanage Visit

I am really struggling with this post. Orphanages are sad places. My mind and heart are working to process what we experienced today and it is a very emotional ordeal.

We left the hotel at 7:30 this morning for the three hour van ride to Baotou to visit the orphanage where Caleb lived. Let me just say that riding for 6 hours in one day in a van with an active toddler and no car seat was no picnic. He slept some, but good grief I don't know how in the world we are ever going to survive the flight home.

When we got to the orphanage we put Caleb in the carrier. I wanted him to feel securely attached to me in a literal sense when he went back into that place. Here we are outside the gates of the orphanage.

Caleb has a friendly personality and usually loves to get down and run around but he was very quiet and serious when we approached and went inside. This orphanage is huge...all these buildings are full of children. Unimaginable.

 

This was the wall as we walked into the orphanage.

 



Several nannies excitedly approached and held out their arms to him and he shook his head "no" and held onto me! I was very happy about this!! We walked up to the room where he lived and some more nannies came over to greet him. He still refused to let them hold him and they pointed into a little kitchen area. Well, apparently he knew what this meant and signed to us to get down. (Did I tell y'all he knows quite a bit of sign language?!) He followed them in and we stood at the door. They got some treats out for him and told him to give them kisses and he'd get a treat. Clearly they know how to work my son. He kissed them, got his treat and ran back to me!!

 

We went to the room where he lived and another nanny grabbed him and hugged him tight. She told us he is a "very very smart boy" (our guide translated). He let her hug him but didn't really hug her back and quickly reached back for daddy!

 



 

His nanny said she wanted to show me his bed. I followed her and Steve followed me, carrying Caleb. As soon as they entered the room, Caleb started to cry and shake his head and sign "NO!" so Steve took him back out and I stayed long enough to take a quick pic. I'm assuming he was crying for more reasons than just that they'd made him sleep on pink sheets.

 



Next, we went to a room where my dear friend's daughter is currently waiting for her family to come get her. Jennie and I became fast and close friends after meeting early in our processes at a fellowship picnic our agency had. Our families got close as our kids are all close in age and we all have lots in common and we were overjoyed to be matched from the same orphanage! Caleb will always have a friend, right at home in Louisville who is from his same birthplace and orphanage! God is SO good! I took a lovey and a family picture album to this sweet girl and got some pictures and video for Jennie. I was trying to get a good pic of Caleb with her little girl, but those kids did not want to be still and pose for pictures like I had in mind! Oh well, we plan to have LOTS of future opportunities to capture our Asian cuties having fun together!

As we were leaving, one of the ladies that was in charge of adoption at the orphanage introduced us to this little boy. He is four years old and has hearing loss. She said he does not have a family yet and really wants to be adopted. She asked if we could help him find a family. Heartbreaking. There are no words.

We walked out of the orphanage and met the directors. We posed for a group photo with all the families here with us and the orphanage directors.

As we left, we stopped and took pictures at each child's "finding spot." This is the spot where they were left abandoned, found, and taken to the orphanage. This is very emotional for me and I am still processing it all. I have chosen not to share this as I feel protective of certain parts of our story as it is really Caleb's story to tell if and when he chooses to tell it. I want to be able to tell him as much as I can and to answer all the questions I will be able to answer for him as he grows and asks about his past. I have pictures to show him and memories stored up in my heart. I am falling more in love with this hilarious, playful, smart, handsome, fearfully and wonderfully made child every day. I grieve for the mother who felt him move within her and then made the unfathomable choice to leave him behind. I can't imagine her grief at feeling that she had no other choice and I will spend every moment I have left on this earth being incredibly grateful that she chose to give him life.