We received exciting news yesterday! Our dossier has been "logged in" by the China Center for Children's Welfare and Adoption (CCCWA) and is now being translated!! That means that now we are able to be "matched" with a child at any time!!
This process can be SO consuming and we make a big effort not to talk incessantly about it to everyone we come into contact with! We don't want you guys to see us coming and be like "Quick! Hide so we don't have to hear them drone on about adoption!!" However, we get asked about it a lot and we have noticed that we get asked the same questions over and over again (which we don't mind at all!!), so we thought it would be a good idea to post some answers to those FAQs!
1) Why did you choose China? Why not adopt an American baby?
Friends, there is not a simple cut and dried answer to this question. In its simplest form, the answer is simply that China is where God led us. I know some of you have no idea what I mean when I say that and some of you secretly (or not so secretly!) think we have a screw loose for doing this. I will do my best to explain.
First, we are not adopting for reasons of infertility, so newborn domestic adoption was not something we really considered. So many couples and dear friends of ours have gone that route due to infertility and it is a beautiful thing, but as a fertile couple with two healthy biological kids, that doesn't make sense for us!
Secondly, although growing our family is important to us, we also wanted to adopt to live out the Biblical command to care for "the fatherless" or "the orphan." There are so many precious "orphans" in the foster care system in the US. Half a million in fact - and they all need homes!! Davion Only recently made headlines when he went before a church in Florida and begged for someone to adopt him out of foster care and give him a family. My heart breaks for him and all the others like him!! Foster care and resulting adoption are so very needed in this country and it is something we definitely have a heart for and may very likely do in the future. However, when we began to research adoption we found that at this time with the children we have and the needs they have, foster care is not a good fit for us right now. If foster care is something you are interested in or have a heart for, you can read an excellent blog post about foster care FAQs here. There are orphans all over the world, and they are all God's kids. His heart breaks for every single one of them!! When we researched programs for international adoption China was the best fit. We prayed for three straight months about our decision with more fervor than we have ever prayed about anything else and we both felt very strongly that China was where we were being called.
Part of the reason for this is that China is currently mostly adopting out kids with "special needs." This term does not mean the same thing in Chinese adoptions that it means to us here in the US. It simply means that a child is not considered 100% perfectly healthy. These needs can range from "minor, correctible" category to severe. A baby born prematurely with low birth weight, a child with a minor speech delay, a child who needs glasses, minor heart defects, a missing finger...all are on the "special needs" list!! Two of the most common special needs in China are cleft lip/cleft palate and heart conditions. Steve was born with severe bilateral cleft lip and palate and has always felt a calling to help kids with facial differences. I am a cardiac intensive care nurse. We are not guaranteed to get a child with either of these needs, but we are most definitely open to them and that is one of the ways we felt God leading us to China.
2) How old will your baby be?
We are approved for a 0-3 year old. We have requested "as young as possible." Typically children are 18 months to 2 years old at the youngest end of Chinese adoptions. This has to do with all the processing it takes on the Chinese end to get a child ready to be adopted. Once that child's file is ready to match with a family, he/she is usually at least 6-8 months old, often the child is closer to a year (this also depends on the child's age at abandonment. Sometimes kids are abandoned at birth, sometimes later.) That coupled with the 4-6 month processing time it takes for a family to complete an adoption after being matched means that kids coming home are 18-24 months at the youngest.
3) When will you go to China? When will the adoption be complete?
We don't know. On average, Chinese adoptions take 12-15 months to complete. We started the process January 2013. So far, we have taken longer than average every step of the way with the exception of being logged in so quickly after our dossier was sent to China. Once you are "matched" it takes 4-6 months to process all the paper work for you to go to China and bring your child home. Our agency estimates that we will be matched within 3 months or so. It could be sooner or it could take longer. If everything takes the maximum time frame, it could be July before we go. If it happens quicker, it could potentially be as early as April or May. We have to go with the flow and we have very little control at this point over how slowly or quickly it happens. Such is the nature of the beast of international adoption.
4) It will definitely be a girl, right?
Wrong. There are actually more waiting boys in China now than girls!! The orphan crisis in China is a very complex societal ill. Their government only allows people to have one child per family. This has led to one of the highest abortion rates in the world (13 million per year!) and a majority of them are gender-selective abortions. The sad reality is many girls aren't living long enough to be born!! Sadly, it is illegal to give a child up for adoption in China, so many children are abandoned and when found, are placed in orphanages. There are likely a wide range of reasons children are abandoned....because it is done anonymously, we don't know all the reasons. It could be due to an infant's special need; it could be simply that the parents are unable to care for the child; it could be a young unwed mom, it could be that the child's parents are dead or any number of other possibilities. The reality is that there are both boys and girls in orphanages in need of homes. We are not requesting a specific gender. We have been told that if we are willing to take a boy (which we are) it is more likely to be a boy that we are matched with.
5) What if they try to match you with a child that has a severe special need?
First, we filled out a checklist of the special needs we are open to. This was one of the hardest things for me in this entire process so far. Thankfully, our social worker and pediatrician helped us tremendously with this and continued to remind us that it is not in the best interest of the child to be taken in by a family who is not equipped to care for their needs. Secondly, we have full say in whether or not we accept a referral (or a "match"). Our social worker will call us and tell us the age, gender and special need of the child and will ask us if we want to review the file. Assuming that we do, we have a set period of time to review the file and have it reviewed by medical professionals. We can then say yes or no to that referral. We have known families who have taken their first referral and families who have said no to several before finding the right match for their family.
Obviously there are tons of unknown factors in this process. Unknowns are hard for me. I am being stretched in new ways and am learning every day what it means to "live by faith not by sight" (2 Cor 5:7).
I will answer more FAQs next week. Now I need to go tuck in the precious kids I already have! As always, your prayers and support throughout this thing mean much more than we can ever express!!
Saturday, October 26, 2013
Thursday, October 17, 2013
DTC...3 BIG Letters and How They Take Me Back to College
We got official word today that our dossier has been sent to China!! (Our dossier is made up of all the official documents we have been compiling for the last nine months. DTC is adoption lingo for Dossier to China.) Sometime in the next month it will be "logged in" to the China Center for Children's Welfare and Adoption (CCCWA) and we will be officially ready to be "matched" with a child. For the next few months we will likely be waiting on the Chinese end of things and not have a whole lot to do on this end. Of course we will stay busy with our upcoming Both Hands project and then the holidays...so really we have lots to keep us from going crazy waiting!
This news today evoked a unique feeling deep within me. It's a mix of fear and anticipation. A feeling of being overwhelmed with wonder at the possibilities that await us and the responsibility we are taking on, yet a feeling of peace in knowing we are doing what God has called us to do as a family and that He is in every detail.
I have felt this feeling a few times, but one specifically comes to mind. It was Fall, 1998, sophomore year at Milligan College. Fundamentals of Nursing I. My first real nursing class and my very first clinical. the professor assigned us each a patient that we would spend the next day caring for. We were to go to the hospital the evening before clinical and read over the patient's chart and write a care plan. I remember sitting for what felt like hours in that hospital staring at that chart and thinking "I'm not sure I can do this." So many big words I didn't yet understand, so many unfamiliar abbreviations. I remember laboriously trying to decipher hand writing and spending inordinate amounts of time looking up pathophysiology of disease processes and making note cards for every medication listed. I was overwhelmed. But I knew I wanted to be a nurse. More than knowing I wanted to be a nurse, I couldn't imagine being anything else. Somehow I muddled through that clinical and the many that followed. Flash forward fifteen years and ironically, the bulk of my job consists of reviewing patient charts. After working as a bedside nurse in a cardiac ICU for the bulk of my career, those big words, abbreviations and medications are now second nature to me.
In many ways this point in our adoption journey feels much like that first clinical. I've done enough paperwork to kill a forest. I've learned a vast array of new words and abbreviations that make up this crazy process. I've met, and formed friendships with lots of other adoptive mamas and mamas-to-be. I've spent hours studying the attachment process in children from hard places. I've sought resources to help our family through what promises to be a huge change for all of us. But I have so much to learn. I'm overwhelmed. I'm afraid. I know I have a tremendous amount of work and adjustment in my near future. But I also know it will be worth it.
Looking back at that memory from college I am struck by all the things I didn't yet know. Not just clinical "head" kind of knowledge, but the kind that only years of experience can bring. On that evening in that hospital I did not yet know the feeling of pure fear and adrenaline that accompanied grabbing the paddles during a code and yelling "all clear!" just before shocking a patient's heart back into rhythm. I had not yet experienced the days laying awake wondering if I could have done anything differently and had a better impact on my patient the night before. I hadn't yet held a patient's hand as they left this world and entered the next. I hadn't yet attempted to feebly comfort the grieving widower who asked me "How am I ever going to make it with out her?" I hadn't yet known the joy of someone beating incredible odds and walking out of the hospital after spending weeks or months fighting for their life. I have not been a perfect nurse, but I believe I've been a good one. I've never regretted my career choice and I still can't imagine being anything else.
I can't help wondering what I will think looking back at this moment fifteen years in the future. I have not yet met my third child. I haven't seen his face. I haven't bonded with him. I haven't held him when he cried, cared for him when he's sick, learned what makes him laugh or calms his fears. I haven't had the joy of seeing my three children play together. I haven't yet had to explain to him why he looks different than his brother and sister and mommy and daddy. I haven't yet explained to him that he did not grow in my tummy. I haven't had to look into his eyes when he asks about his biological family. I know it's coming. Laughter, tears, questions, anger, joy.... more than I can ever predict or plan for. I haven't been a perfect mama to my babies and I know I won't be perfect this time. Being a mom is such a huge part of who I am and more than anything I want to be the best I can for my kids. I pray I am worthy of the blessing of this most noble job.
This journey is a faith walk. It is not easy ...but what truly worthwhile thing in life is easy? The most rewarding things I've ever done have undoubtedly also been the most challenging.
So our family celebrates a milestone in our journey today. With pounding hearts and sweaty palms and complete confidence in the one who called us to this task!
"You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast because they trust in you." Isaiah 26:3
Lord give me the strength and faith I need to obey you completely today.
This news today evoked a unique feeling deep within me. It's a mix of fear and anticipation. A feeling of being overwhelmed with wonder at the possibilities that await us and the responsibility we are taking on, yet a feeling of peace in knowing we are doing what God has called us to do as a family and that He is in every detail.
I have felt this feeling a few times, but one specifically comes to mind. It was Fall, 1998, sophomore year at Milligan College. Fundamentals of Nursing I. My first real nursing class and my very first clinical. the professor assigned us each a patient that we would spend the next day caring for. We were to go to the hospital the evening before clinical and read over the patient's chart and write a care plan. I remember sitting for what felt like hours in that hospital staring at that chart and thinking "I'm not sure I can do this." So many big words I didn't yet understand, so many unfamiliar abbreviations. I remember laboriously trying to decipher hand writing and spending inordinate amounts of time looking up pathophysiology of disease processes and making note cards for every medication listed. I was overwhelmed. But I knew I wanted to be a nurse. More than knowing I wanted to be a nurse, I couldn't imagine being anything else. Somehow I muddled through that clinical and the many that followed. Flash forward fifteen years and ironically, the bulk of my job consists of reviewing patient charts. After working as a bedside nurse in a cardiac ICU for the bulk of my career, those big words, abbreviations and medications are now second nature to me.
In many ways this point in our adoption journey feels much like that first clinical. I've done enough paperwork to kill a forest. I've learned a vast array of new words and abbreviations that make up this crazy process. I've met, and formed friendships with lots of other adoptive mamas and mamas-to-be. I've spent hours studying the attachment process in children from hard places. I've sought resources to help our family through what promises to be a huge change for all of us. But I have so much to learn. I'm overwhelmed. I'm afraid. I know I have a tremendous amount of work and adjustment in my near future. But I also know it will be worth it.
Looking back at that memory from college I am struck by all the things I didn't yet know. Not just clinical "head" kind of knowledge, but the kind that only years of experience can bring. On that evening in that hospital I did not yet know the feeling of pure fear and adrenaline that accompanied grabbing the paddles during a code and yelling "all clear!" just before shocking a patient's heart back into rhythm. I had not yet experienced the days laying awake wondering if I could have done anything differently and had a better impact on my patient the night before. I hadn't yet held a patient's hand as they left this world and entered the next. I hadn't yet attempted to feebly comfort the grieving widower who asked me "How am I ever going to make it with out her?" I hadn't yet known the joy of someone beating incredible odds and walking out of the hospital after spending weeks or months fighting for their life. I have not been a perfect nurse, but I believe I've been a good one. I've never regretted my career choice and I still can't imagine being anything else.
I can't help wondering what I will think looking back at this moment fifteen years in the future. I have not yet met my third child. I haven't seen his face. I haven't bonded with him. I haven't held him when he cried, cared for him when he's sick, learned what makes him laugh or calms his fears. I haven't had the joy of seeing my three children play together. I haven't yet had to explain to him why he looks different than his brother and sister and mommy and daddy. I haven't yet explained to him that he did not grow in my tummy. I haven't had to look into his eyes when he asks about his biological family. I know it's coming. Laughter, tears, questions, anger, joy.... more than I can ever predict or plan for. I haven't been a perfect mama to my babies and I know I won't be perfect this time. Being a mom is such a huge part of who I am and more than anything I want to be the best I can for my kids. I pray I am worthy of the blessing of this most noble job.
This journey is a faith walk. It is not easy ...but what truly worthwhile thing in life is easy? The most rewarding things I've ever done have undoubtedly also been the most challenging.
So our family celebrates a milestone in our journey today. With pounding hearts and sweaty palms and complete confidence in the one who called us to this task!
"You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast because they trust in you." Isaiah 26:3
Lord give me the strength and faith I need to obey you completely today.
Friday, July 5, 2013
Top 10 Things Our Home Study Taught Me
Wow, what a busy few months! End of school year, car accident that totaled our family's mini-van (yes, praise God, all were ok!) , our 11th wedding anniversary, buying a new (to us) minivan and last but not least a fundraising yard sale that made almost $3K!!!!!!! So I'm a little (ok a LOT) behind on the blog!!
Good news! Our home study approval officially came to us July 3rd! That means that we move onto the next step in the process which is sending paperwork through US Customs and Immigration. This process will take 2-3 months and will include another round of fingerprinting for us and will ultimately approve us to bring a child from China home as a US citizen!
Our home study took a bit longer than average...the typical timeframe is 3-4 months. We had our first home study interview February 13th and got home study approval July 3rd. The process included a series of 5 interviews with our social worker, a MASSIVE paper trail....including FBI fingerprinting, lots of financial documents, physicals for all of us, letters from our doctors outlining our complete medical history, 9 letters of reference submitted, background checks on both of us for every state we have lived in since we turned 18, autobiographies each of us had to write, several pages of essay style discussion questions we had to type up and submit, and many hours of adoption education "homework" including online modules, articles and a reading "The Connected Child" book.
I thought I would share with you a few things this process has already taught me:
10) My parents did a great job teaching me manners. I am a talker. That may be an understatement. BUT...I try to know this about myself and be ever vigilant to guard against talking too much about myself. I was incredibly uncomfortable with this process of talking about myself and my family for hours on end to a social worker I barely know. She did a great job of making me feel comfortable, but still - it's awkward. During one interview I literally said "Can you please talk about yourself for a few minutes so I feel less awkward?" She did. She's nice like that.
9) I have an awesome husband. I knew this already, so I guess it is not completely accurate to say I learned this during our home study process, but it was very much reinforced. When your social worker asks you (in a private interview) what your husband does that brings you stress and the best answer you can think of is "The way he sorts the laundry"...you know you've got it good.
8) God will provide. Again...knew this, but needed reinforcement. Over and over He confirmed our decision with His providence just when we needed it. Our fundraisers have given us overwhelming encouragement and the gifts from friends have humbled us to the point of tears on more than one occasion.
7) The adoption community is COMPLETELY awesome. From helping us tremendously with our fundraisers to encouraging texts, cards and emails this community has welcomed us with open arms and a joy that is contagious. There is a support and understanding like none other in this special group of selfless families! We have also met other families currently in process through our agency's fellowship events that I already know will be dear friends for a lifetime!
6) We are ALL called to care for orphans, widows and the needy. We are NOT all called to adopt. I am humbled by so many beautiful individuals and families who have helped us so far- financially and otherwise- because they believe in what we are doing and are not able to do it themselves.
5) Adoption is SO hard. It is beautiful, but first it is broken. It is a wonderful plan B, but it still involves rejection, separation and pain. Praise God that He can redeem even the ugliness of broken families and bring beauty from ashes.
4) We could never ever do this alone. We are very aware of all the risks we are undertaking. The thought of parenting a child with medical special needs is scary. The unknowns are overwhelming. We do our best to make wise decisions and necessary preparations but our capabilities in the flesh fall very very short. What we know for sure is that God has asked us to do this. We will obey and His power will be made perfect in our weakness.
3) I have zero control. Over anything. I walked into this process thinking that this was the one area where I had a bit of control. I. WAS. WRONG. Papers get lost. Reference letters are late. This process is not nearly as urgent to anyone else as it is to me. After all this and being t-boned by a young driver who ran a red light and could have easily harmed or killed my children I have come to grips with the knowledge that every single day, every single breath is a gift and is not up to me.
2) When God asks you to do something He has many reasons. Some of which we may not know this side of Heaven. One sure bet - He wants to refine you. This can be painful. A friend who recently left behind a very comfortable life and gave away nearly all of her family's earthly possessions shared this truth with me. I can't do this (see # 4). HE can. HE did. HE gave up the comfort of Heaven to come to earth and adopt me, and it killed Him. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.
1) To whom much is given, much is required. 'Nuff said.
Good news! Our home study approval officially came to us July 3rd! That means that we move onto the next step in the process which is sending paperwork through US Customs and Immigration. This process will take 2-3 months and will include another round of fingerprinting for us and will ultimately approve us to bring a child from China home as a US citizen!
Our home study took a bit longer than average...the typical timeframe is 3-4 months. We had our first home study interview February 13th and got home study approval July 3rd. The process included a series of 5 interviews with our social worker, a MASSIVE paper trail....including FBI fingerprinting, lots of financial documents, physicals for all of us, letters from our doctors outlining our complete medical history, 9 letters of reference submitted, background checks on both of us for every state we have lived in since we turned 18, autobiographies each of us had to write, several pages of essay style discussion questions we had to type up and submit, and many hours of adoption education "homework" including online modules, articles and a reading "The Connected Child" book.
I thought I would share with you a few things this process has already taught me:
10) My parents did a great job teaching me manners. I am a talker. That may be an understatement. BUT...I try to know this about myself and be ever vigilant to guard against talking too much about myself. I was incredibly uncomfortable with this process of talking about myself and my family for hours on end to a social worker I barely know. She did a great job of making me feel comfortable, but still - it's awkward. During one interview I literally said "Can you please talk about yourself for a few minutes so I feel less awkward?" She did. She's nice like that.
9) I have an awesome husband. I knew this already, so I guess it is not completely accurate to say I learned this during our home study process, but it was very much reinforced. When your social worker asks you (in a private interview) what your husband does that brings you stress and the best answer you can think of is "The way he sorts the laundry"...you know you've got it good.
8) God will provide. Again...knew this, but needed reinforcement. Over and over He confirmed our decision with His providence just when we needed it. Our fundraisers have given us overwhelming encouragement and the gifts from friends have humbled us to the point of tears on more than one occasion.
7) The adoption community is COMPLETELY awesome. From helping us tremendously with our fundraisers to encouraging texts, cards and emails this community has welcomed us with open arms and a joy that is contagious. There is a support and understanding like none other in this special group of selfless families! We have also met other families currently in process through our agency's fellowship events that I already know will be dear friends for a lifetime!
6) We are ALL called to care for orphans, widows and the needy. We are NOT all called to adopt. I am humbled by so many beautiful individuals and families who have helped us so far- financially and otherwise- because they believe in what we are doing and are not able to do it themselves.
5) Adoption is SO hard. It is beautiful, but first it is broken. It is a wonderful plan B, but it still involves rejection, separation and pain. Praise God that He can redeem even the ugliness of broken families and bring beauty from ashes.
4) We could never ever do this alone. We are very aware of all the risks we are undertaking. The thought of parenting a child with medical special needs is scary. The unknowns are overwhelming. We do our best to make wise decisions and necessary preparations but our capabilities in the flesh fall very very short. What we know for sure is that God has asked us to do this. We will obey and His power will be made perfect in our weakness.
3) I have zero control. Over anything. I walked into this process thinking that this was the one area where I had a bit of control. I. WAS. WRONG. Papers get lost. Reference letters are late. This process is not nearly as urgent to anyone else as it is to me. After all this and being t-boned by a young driver who ran a red light and could have easily harmed or killed my children I have come to grips with the knowledge that every single day, every single breath is a gift and is not up to me.
2) When God asks you to do something He has many reasons. Some of which we may not know this side of Heaven. One sure bet - He wants to refine you. This can be painful. A friend who recently left behind a very comfortable life and gave away nearly all of her family's earthly possessions shared this truth with me. I can't do this (see # 4). HE can. HE did. HE gave up the comfort of Heaven to come to earth and adopt me, and it killed Him. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.
1) To whom much is given, much is required. 'Nuff said.
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
An Update
Wow, it has been a busy few weeks! Distributing nearly 200 tubs of cookie dough, finishing our home study education, helping out with my mom's recovery from major surgery and a small out patient surgery for Steve has kept our family hopping!!
We hope to finish our home study within the next couple of weeks. We have done the majority of the work and have two remaining meetings with our social worker. The first, tomorrow morning to discuss our education (the longest leg of the home study and SUCH a relief to complete!!) and the last one to make sure all our documents are in and to discuss issues specific to international adoption (hopefully we can get this done next week!!). Then our social worker writes our home study! Once this is complete, we will begin applying for grants and other fundraising projects that require submission of a completed home study.
Praise the Lord, we have met our first short term fundraising goal of paying for our home study!! THANKS TO YOU!!!!! Through our Chick-fil-a day and our cookie sale we made nearly $1,000 and the rest has come from generous donations, so THANKS!!! You will never know how eternally grateful we are for your support and prayers! I can't stress that enough. I am SO humbled by it!!
Our next big fundraiser will be a yard sale on June 15th. Portland Christian School Eastside campus has graciously and generously allowed us to use their gymnasium for this event! That way we can have it rain or shine and have a staging area and preparation place to sort and price the donations that we hope will come pouring in!!! We are trying to make this thing BIG! We have seen several adoption fundraiser sales that have raised over a thousand dollars and we hope that this one will too. Please get in touch with either of us if you have items you wish to donate. We can make arrangements to get them from you. If possible, we'd like to wait until the week of the sale because that is when we will have access to the gym and we don't have much space in our home to store stuff, but if need be we will make it happen earlier!
Lastly, I wanted to share with you about our "Just Love Coffee Roasters" store. Just Love Coffee is a company with a mission to help orphans both through helping fund adoptions and helping to prevent children from becoming orphaned. They give funds to things like clean water projects in under developed countries. They have given us the opportunity to have an internet coffee store at absolutely ZERO cost to us. All we do is tell everyone we know to buy coffee from our store and we will get a check in the mail every month based on our sales!! How incredible is that?? They have lots of great stuff so if you are like me and are not a "coffee person" go ahead and check out some of the other great stuff they have! The best part is that we can keep the store for one year after the child is in our home to help offset the continued expense of the adoption!! So go now!! Get some coffee justlovecoffee.com/differenceforone!! Or click on the Just Love Coffee logo up to the left!
Thanks so much for sharing this journey with us! More to come soon!!
We hope to finish our home study within the next couple of weeks. We have done the majority of the work and have two remaining meetings with our social worker. The first, tomorrow morning to discuss our education (the longest leg of the home study and SUCH a relief to complete!!) and the last one to make sure all our documents are in and to discuss issues specific to international adoption (hopefully we can get this done next week!!). Then our social worker writes our home study! Once this is complete, we will begin applying for grants and other fundraising projects that require submission of a completed home study.
Praise the Lord, we have met our first short term fundraising goal of paying for our home study!! THANKS TO YOU!!!!! Through our Chick-fil-a day and our cookie sale we made nearly $1,000 and the rest has come from generous donations, so THANKS!!! You will never know how eternally grateful we are for your support and prayers! I can't stress that enough. I am SO humbled by it!!
Our next big fundraiser will be a yard sale on June 15th. Portland Christian School Eastside campus has graciously and generously allowed us to use their gymnasium for this event! That way we can have it rain or shine and have a staging area and preparation place to sort and price the donations that we hope will come pouring in!!! We are trying to make this thing BIG! We have seen several adoption fundraiser sales that have raised over a thousand dollars and we hope that this one will too. Please get in touch with either of us if you have items you wish to donate. We can make arrangements to get them from you. If possible, we'd like to wait until the week of the sale because that is when we will have access to the gym and we don't have much space in our home to store stuff, but if need be we will make it happen earlier!
Lastly, I wanted to share with you about our "Just Love Coffee Roasters" store. Just Love Coffee is a company with a mission to help orphans both through helping fund adoptions and helping to prevent children from becoming orphaned. They give funds to things like clean water projects in under developed countries. They have given us the opportunity to have an internet coffee store at absolutely ZERO cost to us. All we do is tell everyone we know to buy coffee from our store and we will get a check in the mail every month based on our sales!! How incredible is that?? They have lots of great stuff so if you are like me and are not a "coffee person" go ahead and check out some of the other great stuff they have! The best part is that we can keep the store for one year after the child is in our home to help offset the continued expense of the adoption!! So go now!! Get some coffee justlovecoffee.com/differenceforone!! Or click on the Just Love Coffee logo up to the left!
Thanks so much for sharing this journey with us! More to come soon!!
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Loaves & Fish, Chicken & Cookie Dough
International adoption is expensive. Super duper expensive. It varies somewhat depending on the country, but in our case, we are looking at a price tag of about $30K. As I talk to people about what we are doing I get a lot of questions about this topic. Why does it cost so much? Do you pay all that at once? How in the world will you afford it?
First and foremost I must say that we are completely depending on God to provide for this cost. We certainly don't have a money tree out back. I've talked to many adoptive families and read tons of adoption blogs and the recurring theme I have seen over and over again is that God provides. In His way, in His time. It will take work and effort and commitment on our part, all of which we are willing and ready to give, but in the end we cannot do it in our own flesh. I don't know how He will do it for us, but He has asked us to do this and we will obey. He is already proving faithful.
The costs associated with adoption cover a wide variety of things. When we say $30K, that encompasses all of it. There are agency fees, home study fees, and travel expenses which make up a large portion of the cost. But there are lots of "little" costs too. So far we have paid a $250 application fee to apply to adopt; a lump sum agency fee of around $2600 to start our home study and adoption process; for background checks (some states are free) in all the states we each have lived in since we were 18; FBI fingerprinting ($100 for both of us - $50 each); and required online training modules for parents adopting children from orphanages ($195). Up ahead in the process, we will be requesting re-issued official birth certificates (Steve's from Canada will be another $100, mine from Illinois will be around $26); we will be fingerprinted and processed for immigration; will get or update passports; will send our dossier (pronounced DOSS-ee-ay) to China; will pay immigration fees for our child; will get visas for our travel, purchase plane tickets to bring our baby home....the list goes on and on and everything has an associated cost!!
Many organizations exist to help adoptive families offset these expenses with grants. We hope and pray that we can obtain grants to cover a large portion of our expenses. However, almost all grants require the submission of a completed home study with application, and getting to the point of a completed home study requires ballpark $5500!! (We have found and applied for 2 grants that only require a home study in process.)
We hope to complete our home study in the next month or so, which will mean our next agency fee of $2600 is due. Knowing that this is imminent, has prompted our first efforts at fundraising.
Our first fundraiser, "Chicken for China" involved inviting everyone we know to eat at a specific Chick-fil-a on a specific day and the restaurant gave us 20% of the pre-tax dollars we brought in. It was a simple, easy fundraiser that was great fun and involved almost zero work on our part. We raised over $500 which astounded the owner and staff of the restaurant. We had an amazing turnout and lots of fun!!
We also just wrapped up selling tubs of cookie dough. We will have some extras when the tubs arrive in a couple weeks if anyone is still interested! We raised around $400 with this endeavor. We have also received some donations from some generous friends, but even after all this, we are needing about another $1000 for our next payment.
We are working on plans for a large yardsale and hope that you will consider donating anything you would like to get rid of that we could sell!!
I don't know how He will do it, but I know God will provide. An old friend of mine who has adopted twice from Ethiopia likes to say "God funds what He favors." We will work our tails off and He will make up the difference! The same hands that fed 5,000 men from five small loaves and two small fish will multiply our efforts. He may use grants, fundraising projects, or donations from you to transform a life from "orphan" to treasured member of our forever family!!!
First and foremost I must say that we are completely depending on God to provide for this cost. We certainly don't have a money tree out back. I've talked to many adoptive families and read tons of adoption blogs and the recurring theme I have seen over and over again is that God provides. In His way, in His time. It will take work and effort and commitment on our part, all of which we are willing and ready to give, but in the end we cannot do it in our own flesh. I don't know how He will do it for us, but He has asked us to do this and we will obey. He is already proving faithful.
The costs associated with adoption cover a wide variety of things. When we say $30K, that encompasses all of it. There are agency fees, home study fees, and travel expenses which make up a large portion of the cost. But there are lots of "little" costs too. So far we have paid a $250 application fee to apply to adopt; a lump sum agency fee of around $2600 to start our home study and adoption process; for background checks (some states are free) in all the states we each have lived in since we were 18; FBI fingerprinting ($100 for both of us - $50 each); and required online training modules for parents adopting children from orphanages ($195). Up ahead in the process, we will be requesting re-issued official birth certificates (Steve's from Canada will be another $100, mine from Illinois will be around $26); we will be fingerprinted and processed for immigration; will get or update passports; will send our dossier (pronounced DOSS-ee-ay) to China; will pay immigration fees for our child; will get visas for our travel, purchase plane tickets to bring our baby home....the list goes on and on and everything has an associated cost!!
Many organizations exist to help adoptive families offset these expenses with grants. We hope and pray that we can obtain grants to cover a large portion of our expenses. However, almost all grants require the submission of a completed home study with application, and getting to the point of a completed home study requires ballpark $5500!! (We have found and applied for 2 grants that only require a home study in process.)
We hope to complete our home study in the next month or so, which will mean our next agency fee of $2600 is due. Knowing that this is imminent, has prompted our first efforts at fundraising.
Our first fundraiser, "Chicken for China" involved inviting everyone we know to eat at a specific Chick-fil-a on a specific day and the restaurant gave us 20% of the pre-tax dollars we brought in. It was a simple, easy fundraiser that was great fun and involved almost zero work on our part. We raised over $500 which astounded the owner and staff of the restaurant. We had an amazing turnout and lots of fun!!
We also just wrapped up selling tubs of cookie dough. We will have some extras when the tubs arrive in a couple weeks if anyone is still interested! We raised around $400 with this endeavor. We have also received some donations from some generous friends, but even after all this, we are needing about another $1000 for our next payment.
We are working on plans for a large yardsale and hope that you will consider donating anything you would like to get rid of that we could sell!!
I don't know how He will do it, but I know God will provide. An old friend of mine who has adopted twice from Ethiopia likes to say "God funds what He favors." We will work our tails off and He will make up the difference! The same hands that fed 5,000 men from five small loaves and two small fish will multiply our efforts. He may use grants, fundraising projects, or donations from you to transform a life from "orphan" to treasured member of our forever family!!!
Monday, March 11, 2013
I Am Coming For You
I Am Coming For You
In spite of your innocence you were cast aside
Unwanted at birth, the strings of nature untied
I know not why you were born into such stormy weather
But I am coming for you so we will brave it together
God has opened my eyes to my complacency
He has awakened my soul to the depth of your need
Now I cannot ignore the duty instilled in me
I will no longer retreat from my responsibility
You are unwanted no more, I am coming for you
I have heard your cries, I know the love you are due
I will wait no longer to bring you into my fold
I will not rest until you are all mine to hold
Though barriers abound I will hurdle them all
I will not be distracted or barred from the call
I will press on through the toughest attack
I am coming for you and I am not looking back
Doubts have been erased, the costs will be overcome
I will not be discouraged by the ignorance of some
I will put forth the effort no matter what it requires
I would swim across oceans, I would crawl through fires
You will not go hungry, you will not be a slave
You will not be destined for a premature grave
You will not be abandoned, you are one of the few
Who will have a chance, I am coming for you
I have no white horse, I have no armor to wear
If I were a hero I would already be there
But I am simply a father doing all that I can do
To make a difference for one child and that child is you
For you to be my own all would be sacrificed
Because you, too, deserve to know the love of Christ
For I am comforted when The Father says to me too
Despair not, my child, I am coming for you
By: Stephen Porter
Monday, March 4, 2013
From the Mouths of Babes
Explaining adoption to children has its challenges! Ever since we talked to our kids about it, they've been bickering about what they hope for....my daughter wants a sister and naturally, my son wants a brother. Why wouldn't they? They already have the opposite.
My sweet almost 5 year old son adamantly told me he does NOT like little girls. I pointed out that this is completely untrue....he has lots of little girls that he loves to play with. After a little prodding, I uncovered the truth....there is one little girl in particular he doesn't like and he doesn't want to run the risk of a sister because what if she turns out like this girl?
A few days ago he came to me all excited and said "Mommy!! I have a GREAT idea!! We can adopt baby Maddie!!" (This happens to be the daughter of one of my dearest friends!)
"Well, buddy, Maddie already has a family, silly! We can't adopt her!!"
He wrinkled up his nose and said "Ah shoot! I was trying to be nice to sis and say we could get a girl, but Maddie is the only baby girl I like!!"
So I explained to him that we would be adopting a baby from an orphanage that does not have a family. He said "Did you get me from one of those?"
"No, silly, you grew in my belly and then you lived in this house with this family ever since you were born!!"
Of course the next logical question...."How in the world did I get in your belly??"
Thankfully, he's 4.
"God knew I'd need a little boy just like you so he put you in there and made you grow till just the right time."
"Oh. Can I have a snack?"
And that was that!!
My sweet almost 5 year old son adamantly told me he does NOT like little girls. I pointed out that this is completely untrue....he has lots of little girls that he loves to play with. After a little prodding, I uncovered the truth....there is one little girl in particular he doesn't like and he doesn't want to run the risk of a sister because what if she turns out like this girl?
A few days ago he came to me all excited and said "Mommy!! I have a GREAT idea!! We can adopt baby Maddie!!" (This happens to be the daughter of one of my dearest friends!)
"Well, buddy, Maddie already has a family, silly! We can't adopt her!!"
He wrinkled up his nose and said "Ah shoot! I was trying to be nice to sis and say we could get a girl, but Maddie is the only baby girl I like!!"
So I explained to him that we would be adopting a baby from an orphanage that does not have a family. He said "Did you get me from one of those?"
"No, silly, you grew in my belly and then you lived in this house with this family ever since you were born!!"
Of course the next logical question...."How in the world did I get in your belly??"
Thankfully, he's 4.
"God knew I'd need a little boy just like you so he put you in there and made you grow till just the right time."
"Oh. Can I have a snack?"
And that was that!!
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