Wow, what a busy few months! End of school year, car accident that totaled our family's mini-van (yes, praise God, all were ok!) , our 11th wedding anniversary, buying a new (to us) minivan and last but not least a fundraising yard sale that made almost $3K!!!!!!! So I'm a little (ok a LOT) behind on the blog!!
Good news! Our home study approval officially came to us July 3rd! That means that we move onto the next step in the process which is sending paperwork through US Customs and Immigration. This process will take 2-3 months and will include another round of fingerprinting for us and will ultimately approve us to bring a child from China home as a US citizen!
Our home study took a bit longer than average...the typical timeframe is 3-4 months. We had our first home study interview February 13th and got home study approval July 3rd. The process included a series of 5 interviews with our social worker, a MASSIVE paper trail....including FBI fingerprinting, lots of financial documents, physicals for all of us, letters from our doctors outlining our complete medical history, 9 letters of reference submitted, background checks on both of us for every state we have lived in since we turned 18, autobiographies each of us had to write, several pages of essay style discussion questions we had to type up and submit, and many hours of adoption education "homework" including online modules, articles and a reading "The Connected Child" book.
I thought I would share with you a few things this process has already taught me:
10) My parents did a great job teaching me manners. I am a talker. That may be an understatement. BUT...I try to know this about myself and be ever vigilant to guard against talking too much about myself. I was incredibly uncomfortable with this process of talking about myself and my family for hours on end to a social worker I barely know. She did a great job of making me feel comfortable, but still - it's awkward. During one interview I literally said "Can you please talk about yourself for a few minutes so I feel less awkward?" She did. She's nice like that.
9) I have an awesome husband. I knew this already, so I guess it is not completely accurate to say I learned this during our home study process, but it was very much reinforced. When your social worker asks you (in a private interview) what your husband does that brings you stress and the best answer you can think of is "The way he sorts the laundry"...you know you've got it good.
8) God will provide. Again...knew this, but needed reinforcement. Over and over He confirmed our decision with His providence just when we needed it. Our fundraisers have given us overwhelming encouragement and the gifts from friends have humbled us to the point of tears on more than one occasion.
7) The adoption community is COMPLETELY awesome. From helping us tremendously with our fundraisers to encouraging texts, cards and emails this community has welcomed us with open arms and a joy that is contagious. There is a support and understanding like none other in this special group of selfless families! We have also met other families currently in process through our agency's fellowship events that I already know will be dear friends for a lifetime!
6) We are ALL called to care for orphans, widows and the needy. We are NOT all called to adopt. I am humbled by so many beautiful individuals and families who have helped us so far- financially and otherwise- because they believe in what we are doing and are not able to do it themselves.
5) Adoption is SO hard. It is beautiful, but first it is broken. It is a wonderful plan B, but it still involves rejection, separation and pain. Praise God that He can redeem even the ugliness of broken families and bring beauty from ashes.
4) We could never ever do this alone. We are very aware of all the risks we are undertaking. The thought of parenting a child with medical special needs is scary. The unknowns are overwhelming. We do our best to make wise decisions and necessary preparations but our capabilities in the flesh fall very very short. What we know for sure is that God has asked us to do this. We will obey and His power will be made perfect in our weakness.
3) I have zero control. Over anything. I walked into this process thinking that this was the one area where I had a bit of control. I. WAS. WRONG. Papers get lost. Reference letters are late. This process is not nearly as urgent to anyone else as it is to me. After all this and being t-boned by a young driver who ran a red light and could have easily harmed or killed my children I have come to grips with the knowledge that every single day, every single breath is a gift and is not up to me.
2) When God asks you to do something He has many reasons. Some of which we may not know this side of Heaven. One sure bet - He wants to refine you. This can be painful. A friend who recently left behind a very comfortable life and gave away nearly all of her family's earthly possessions shared this truth with me. I can't do this (see # 4). HE can. HE did. HE gave up the comfort of Heaven to come to earth and adopt me, and it killed Him. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.
1) To whom much is given, much is required. 'Nuff said.
