Loaves & Fish, Chicken & Cookie Dough

International adoption is expensive. Super duper expensive. It varies somewhat depending on the country, but in our case, we are looking at a price tag of about $30K. As I talk to people about what we are doing I get a lot of questions about this topic. Why does it cost so much? Do you pay all that at once? How in the world will you afford it?

First and foremost I must say that we are completely depending on God to provide for this cost. We certainly don't have a money tree out back. I've talked to many adoptive families and read tons of adoption blogs and the recurring theme I have seen over and over again is that God provides. In His way, in His time. It will take work and effort and commitment on our part, all of which we are willing and ready to give, but in the end we cannot do it in our own flesh. I don't know how He will do it for us, but He has asked us to do this and we will obey. He is already proving faithful.

The costs associated with adoption cover a wide variety of things. When we say $30K, that encompasses all of it. There are agency fees, home study fees, and travel expenses which make up a large portion of the cost. But there are lots of "little" costs too. So far we have paid  a $250 application fee to apply to adopt; a lump sum agency fee of around $2600 to start our home study and adoption process; for background checks (some states are free) in all the states we each have lived in since we were 18; FBI fingerprinting ($100 for both of us - $50 each); and required online training modules for parents adopting children from orphanages ($195). Up ahead in the process, we will be requesting re-issued official birth certificates (Steve's from Canada will be another $100, mine from Illinois will be around $26); we will be fingerprinted and processed for immigration; will get or update passports; will send our dossier (pronounced DOSS-ee-ay) to China; will pay immigration fees for our child; will get visas for our travel, purchase plane tickets to bring our baby home....the list goes on and on and everything has an associated cost!!

Many organizations exist to help adoptive families offset these expenses with grants. We hope and pray that we can obtain grants to cover a large portion of our expenses. However, almost all grants require the submission of a completed home study with application, and getting to the point of a completed home study requires ballpark $5500!! (We have found and applied for 2 grants that only require a home study in process.)

We hope to complete our home study in the next month or so, which will mean our next agency fee of $2600 is due. Knowing that this is imminent, has prompted our first efforts at fundraising.

Our first fundraiser, "Chicken for China" involved inviting everyone we know to eat at a specific Chick-fil-a on a specific day and the restaurant gave us 20% of the pre-tax dollars we brought in. It was a simple, easy fundraiser that was great fun and involved almost zero work on our part. We raised over $500 which astounded the owner and staff of the restaurant. We had an amazing turnout and lots of fun!!

We also just wrapped up selling tubs of cookie dough. We will have some extras when the tubs arrive in a couple weeks if anyone is still interested! We raised around $400 with this endeavor. We have also received some donations from some generous friends, but even after all this, we are needing about another $1000 for our next payment.

We are working on plans for a large yardsale and hope that you will consider donating anything you would like to get rid of that we could sell!!

I don't know how He will do it, but I know God will provide. An old friend of mine who has adopted twice from Ethiopia likes to say "God funds what He favors." We will work our tails off and He will make up the difference! The same hands that fed 5,000 men from five small loaves and two small fish will multiply our efforts. He may use grants, fundraising projects, or donations from you to transform a life from "orphan" to treasured member of our forever family!!!

I Am Coming For You

I Am Coming For You

In spite of your innocence you were cast aside

Unwanted at birth, the strings of nature untied

I know not why you were born into such stormy weather

But I am coming for you so we will brave it together

God has opened my eyes to my complacency

He has awakened my soul to the depth of your need

Now I cannot ignore the duty instilled in me

I will no longer retreat from my responsibility

You are unwanted no more, I am coming for you

I have heard your cries, I know the love you are due

I will wait no longer to bring you into my fold

I will not rest until you are all mine to hold

Though barriers abound I will hurdle them all

I will not be distracted or barred from the call

I will press on through the toughest attack

I am coming for you and I am not looking back

Doubts have been erased, the costs will be overcome

I will not be discouraged by the ignorance of some

I will put forth the effort no matter what it requires

I would swim across oceans, I would crawl through fires

You will not go hungry, you will not be a slave

You will not be destined for a premature grave

You will not be abandoned, you are one of the few

Who will have a chance, I am coming for you

I have no white horse, I have no armor to wear

If I were a hero I would already be there

But I am simply a father doing all that I can do

To make a difference for one child and that child is you

For you to be my own all would be sacrificed

Because you, too, deserve to know the love of Christ

For I am comforted when The Father says to me too

Despair not, my child, I am coming for you

By: Stephen Porter

From the Mouths of Babes

Explaining adoption to children has its challenges! Ever since we talked to our kids about it, they've been bickering about what they hope for....my daughter wants a sister and naturally, my son wants a brother. Why wouldn't they? They already have the opposite.

 My sweet almost 5 year old son adamantly told me he does NOT like little girls. I pointed out that this is completely untrue....he has lots of little girls that he loves to play with. After a little prodding, I uncovered the truth....there is one little girl in particular he doesn't like and he doesn't want to run the risk of a sister because what if she turns out like this girl?

A few days ago he came to me all excited and said "Mommy!! I have a GREAT idea!! We can adopt baby Maddie!!" (This happens to be the daughter of one of my dearest friends!)

 "Well, buddy, Maddie already has a family, silly! We can't adopt her!!"

He wrinkled up his nose and said "Ah shoot! I was trying to be nice to sis and say we could get a girl, but Maddie is the only baby girl I like!!"

So I explained to him that we would be adopting a baby from an orphanage that does not have a family. He said "Did you get me from one of those?"

"No, silly, you grew in my belly and then you lived in this house with this family ever since you were born!!"

Of course the next logical question...."How in the world did I get in your belly??"

Thankfully, he's 4.

"God knew I'd need a little boy just like you so he put you in there and made you grow till just the right time."

"Oh. Can I have a snack?"

And that was that!!

Working At It

I have a confession to make. This is hard. No, not the adoption....I mean, yes that is tremendously hard, but I fully expected that! This blogging and posting and pinning stuff is hard! Everything I read tells me that social media and blogging is absolutely invaluable to getting your story out and helping with funding your adoption. I look at lots of adoption blogs that seem so great and I just think..."wow... not sure I can live up to that." Everyone asks me..."have you set up a blog yet?" Clearly this girl needs to get with the times. Truth be told, I have almost no idea what I'm doing. I enjoy writing, but I'm pretty computer illiterate. I am just old enough to have never had the internet incorporated into my education except for maybe a tiny bit in late college!! Until now, I have not had much motivation to teach myself. I know the internet enough to do my job, google anything I have an urgent need to know, send emails and keep up with old friends on facebook. But blogging? not so much. (Thankfully I'm married to an IT guy, so I have help, but sometimes that ability to go "Babe, I need help!!" every time I try to do something online simply further enables my ignorance.) It isn't that I don't like blogging or facebook or pinterest. It's just that I am a bit uneasy putting myself out there to this degree. That and I am a working mama with limited time, so I feel a sudden pressure on top of all the mountains of work that is the adoption process that I need to be spending a bunch of time on social media. So please be patient with me. So many of you have reassured me that you are indeed interested and you are not going to hate me or avoid me because it seems that all I do is eat, sleep, breathe this stuff right now. Thank you. You have no idea how much I need to hear that right now. I am so encouraged in this process by all who have gone before us and promise me enthusiastically that it is worth it. So for now I will continue to work at this and remind myself that our journey is unlike anyone else's and that I can relax (a little) and be honest and authentic. Even if I'm not so great at the technical stuff!